Here is my situation. I didn't want to post it.... if things don't go well I wouldn't want to look foolish. But, lately I have just been confusing myself thinking about it. So, I'll write it out and maybe things will be clearer in my mind.

There is a girl in my class whom I might be interested in. Notice I said "might". I didn't say I love her, I didn't say I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I just said I might be interested in her.
She is in my research group, and since I am the leader of the group, that has put me in a bit of an awkward position. I can't give her any special treatment, and yet, there have been times when I couldn't come out and be as blunt with her as I perhaps should have been. Apart from that, I have to consider that I can't let things go sour between us because that would impede the functioning of the group and we still have alot of work ahead of us.
She has some quirks that annoy me. She drinks. I don't know how much she drinks but she does drink. And, in case I never mentioned it before - that is a serious problem for me. I don't like alcohol. I don't want a girlfriend who drinks. I have seen too much bad things with alcohol involved. [You have to give the alcohol industry credit though. They do a truly magnificient advertising job. They make alcohol seem so cool in all its forms: beer and wine, cognac and vodka. Sometimes even I am tempted and then I am shocked cause I am firm in my decision not to drink and yet even I have to take a second look at the ads.]
The other thing I don't like is that she will reach late for classes as a rule and then she will leave as soon as the class is done. So, that means that she is never in school if a class isn't on...and that sucks 'cause that is alot of time when I am there, and we could have been spending time.
I also don't think she is the kind of girl who will call me just to say hi! or hear my voice and that's how I am. So, it would be a situation where I would always be calling her. And that's one-sided and I hate that.
So, by now most of you are wondering, well if all that is a problem, why are you wasting my time? Just drop her from your mind and move on.
I wish it were that easy. But, the annoying thing, and this is weird, the annoying thing... is that I think she might actually like me back.
We went to the cinema together, she and I, and it was a good experience. I think we really enjoyed each other's company. Apart from that there have been a few tiny things that lead me to consider, maybe this could be real.
Of course, I could be hallucinating or delusional. I might be seeing things that I want to see. The things I take as signs might be simple coincidence.
I still don't know what I want to do. The only thing I am sure of is that I don't want to summarily dismiss the chance of me and her being more. So, I guess I have no choice but to hang in there and hope that I get a more definite sign soon. Personally, I'm wishing for a skywriter to give me the sign lol.

So...let's see what else is going on...I miss Def Poetry on HBO. I haven't seen that in a while and I really liked it. I hope they start a new season soon. Whenever I do see another episode I might be inspired to try writing another poem. You never know.

Geetali, I'm 21 now. I don't see what the big deal about 21 is personally. All it means is that I am another year older.

Okay, well I guess that is it for now. Today was normal. Nothing out of the ordinary so I don't think it's worth posting up.

Keep well.

Shivee aka. Sagaboy